One in four women and one in seven men will be victims of domestic abuse in their lifetime, according to CDC data, yet as a society, we still don’t know how to talk to survivors about it. “If there had been nothing good, I wouldn’t have stayed,” anti-trafficking advocate Rachel Lloyd wrote of a prior abusive relationship in her 2011 autobiography Girls Like Us, and sadly that narrative holds true for many survivors; after all, many abusers are experts at love-bombing their victims when necessary, thus making it easier for those victims to stay on the assumption that this time will be different.
As a Black woman, twigs is at higher-than-average risk for physical and sexual violence and psychological abuse; instead of focusing on why she and other abuse survivors didn’t fit a particular timeline, why not focus on the specific ways in which the existing system consistently fails women of color? We’re rarely best served by applying a one-size-fits-all lens to narratives of abuse, and while it might be challenging to fully and individually grapple with a case like twigs’s, it’s no less than what she—and every survivor of abuse—deserves. As cultural artifacts like the recent New York Times Britney Spears documentary force us to reckon with the ways in which we’ve objectified and devalued female celebrities, can we extend that collective reckoning to abuse survivors who happen to be in the public eye?
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